1 iPod, 1 Bible, 1 crazy guy, and 1 AMAZING God

Melody of life of the moment: Martha Munizzi- Glorious (Thanks to Eamonn for hooking me up with this song)

Thanks to all my friends who were concerned about my outburst of woe (feeling a bit like Job) in a previous blog.  Much thanks goes to Gordon Lin and your valuable insight and advice...you are a true friend.  I'm ever grateful for a friend like you.  But after discussing the matter with several friends, counselors and mentors, I'm glad to say the situation is under control and in the process of diffusion.  The aftermath and consequences of the decision(s) have started to rear its ugly head, but I'm ready for the battle; it's simply a matter of positive attitude and holding dear to my principles and standing firm on my decisions with much support of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  I'm glad to say, I'm feeling great and less moody and less stressed than my previous post.  Things are well, and will be under control with God in my heart and Jesus at the wheel.

When I was really stressed, I took a moment of solitude and went to my secret quiet place along the Embarcadero.  I just took a time out in the early hours in the morning for God.  The wind chill was pleasant and the area peaceful.  I took some time to pray and reflect and just talk face to face with God.  I cranked up my iPod and started to sing and dance right by the water.  It felt so good.  Eamonn and Jon might know how that's like from Urbana and them Koreans, or anyone who's been to Send Your Reign.  I love to praise God just by being silly and moving my body to music in worship.  Cumberland's passive style was never my favorite (but by no means bad, don't misunderstand.  I just prefer differently).  At one point, I probably was singing so loud, even the homeless guy relocated to a different spot, cart and everything.  Who says God's praise doesn't move people?

Anyway.  That's not why you people read this.  Everyone just wants the new dirt and a peek into my so-called life.  I'm proud to say, I've finally decided to get baptized!  I know, talk about shocking revelations.  I just started attending baptism class and I'm looking forward to completing it and do what's right for God.  As Auntie Isabel said to me, "It's about time; something long overdue.  And for all this time, I thought you were already baptized."

Did I ever mention that I have the most awesome girlfriend ever?  No?...well, she is, and I never tell her enough.  I thank God every day, for the blessing she is in my life.   

I laughed when I read this message adding my final class:

BUS 189 Message: You have already taken this class. You have now exceeded the repeatable limit for this class. Verify that this class will apply toward your course of study.

What the heck is the "repeatable limit" anyway?  I mean, I've only added this class for the 3rd time (and hopefully, the final time)...my record for "repeating" a class is four times.  Hahaha...I is kollige stoodent.

So, on my way back from LA, I was pulled over and given a speeding ticket at the toll plaza going 80 in a supposedly 65mph zone junctioning from 580 West to 80 West.  After looking at my ticket and trying to make sense of what the officer wrote, I wasn't quite sure how I was to handle the ticket.  So, like the good citizen I am, I tried to call the phone number on the ticket for some guidance and to my amazement, after dialing (510)-738, I received that ever-pleasant message about how "the number you have dial is out of service or no longer available."  I didn't even get to dial the complete number!  Good job Officer.  So I decided to Google the court address on the ticket because I am supposed to respond in court within 60 days of the citation.  But even Google didn't give me a direct link or address.  After much frustration, I stumbled upon a blog (a blog of all sites!  Come on!  Just proves the power of bloggers and sites like Wikipedia)  I found out more about how to handle the ticket properly with this blogger's personal (and coincidentally, recent) encounter with a similar situation.  I couldn't even find the assistance I needed on the Alameda Court website!  Anyway.  Below is the link, join both of us bloggers who share the same dissatisfaction of government inefficiency at its best.  Bravo to the CHP officer dude for writing down a non-existent phone number (Officer Young is his "official" name he wrote on the ticket.  Thanks for maintaining a high level of stupidity) and directing me into a government loophole of paperwork and confusion.  Read the blog below...I believe he's still trying to resolve his issue...as am I.
http://lee.org/blog/archives/2008/01/24/how-to-go-to-oakland-superior-court/

God is breaking down my walls and working on my heart.  I could not ask for anymore.  I'm still that lump of clay His awesome hand is slowly molding into another masterpiece. 

Until we ride again, with Jesus at the wheel and faith as my insurance,
~*~*~
I know you will be the light to others, as I can tell that your life is meant to shine.  Your light is not to be selfishly used merely to brighten the room and those around you, but to light the way for others to follow in your footsteps.  You are a light to me, and my only desire to be a light alongside you.

Evolution, Distention, and Resolution

[/quote]
Tom Fahey: On Governor Huckabee, in a previous debate, you and two of your colleagues indicated that you did not believe in evolution.  Um, you're an ordained minister, what do you believe is the story of creation, as it is reported in the bible or described in the bible?

Gov. Mike Huckabee: It's interesting that question would even be asked of somebody running for president.  I'm not planning on writing the curriculum for an eighth grade science book.  I'm asking for the opportunity for President of the United States.  But you've raised the question, so let me answer it.

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.  To me, it's pretty simple.  A person either believes that God created this process or believes that it was an accident and that it just happened all on its own.  And the basic question was an unfair question because it simply asks us in a simplistic manner whether or not we believe, in my view, whether there is a God or not.  Well, let me be very clear.  I believe there is a God.  I believe there is a God who is active in the creation process.  Now how did He do it,and when did he do it, and how long did it take, I don't honestly know.  And I don't think knowing that would make me a better or a worse president.  But I tell what I can tell this country.  If they want a president who doesn't believe in God, there are probably plenty of choices.  But if I'm selected as president of this country, they'll have one who believes in those words that God did create.  And in the words of Martin Luther, "Here I stand, I can do no other."  And I will not take that back.

Wolf Blitzer: Governor, but, I think the specific question is, do you believe literally, it was done in six days and it occurred 6000 years ago?

Gov. Huckabee:  No, I didn't answer that, Wolf.  I said, I don't know.  My point is, I don't know; I wasn't there.  But I believe whether God did in six days, or whether He did it in six days that represented a period of time, He did it.  And that's what's important.  But you know, if anybody wants to believe that they are the decedents of a primate, they are certainly welcome to do it.  I don't know how far they will march that back.  But I believe that all of us in this room are the unique creations of a God who knows us and loves us and created us for His own purpose.
[/end quote]

It is not my usual manner and persona to brood on negativity.  Mulling over many things lead to myriads of mixed emotions, many of which present themselves with much distention and unfavorable circumstances.  I constantly find myself reiterating: "It's not supposed to happen this way."

It's not supposed to be this way.  Today was supposed to be a happy day.  Today was supposed to be carefree.  Today was supposed to be relaxing.  Today was supposed to be just another day.  Today was supposed to be...fun.  Yet, as positive as I tried to be through all of today, I can't say it really was.  It's a weird feeling, festering inside; I believe some call it 'self pity'.  I never thought I'd find myself back in this hole, but here I am.  I find myself, only a shell of the man I desire to be, wrapped within an enigma of frustration and vexation, unable to fill that void inside and find some way out.  It's as if I've lost the motivation for resolution.  Not to say that I've lost confidence in God, for I know He is always in control (as proven with some episodes at the beginning of this month), but I've developed a strong disconnection with myself.  Simply put, I've lost confidence in myself.  The persona and facade of happiness is only as strong as your will to desire it.  Am I happy?  Not really.  Am I sad? Not quite.  I believe I fall on the fence, the gray line between both surreal worlds, a displeasing sense of mediocre satisfaction, being prodded by the fence posts.  A most uncomfortable feeling.  Yet, I find myself meandering about, caught between being idealistic and being realistic, as if in some sort of power struggle.  The 10-year old child inside of me screams for everything easy, fast, fun, tasty and shiny while the 23 year-old pulls me down to earth with facts, numbers, finances, goals, options, careers, academia, relationships, etiquette, character, discipline, responsibilities and priorities.  I never realized growing up would be so difficult.  But then again, nobody said it was easy either.   So much for today; it's gone and over with.  Maybe it's supposed to be this way.  I hope I finally kill this old self of mine once and for all and move on.

Tomorrow is just the beginning to the rest of my life.
~*~*~
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."  - Jim Elliot

9 guys. 2 girls. Go-karts. Free hugs.

Melody of life of the moment: DJ Tiesto feat. Kirsty Hawkshaw- Just Be

It's been quite a ride these past two months since my last update.  But "shift" always happens when you're building momentum and pressing forward; just Satan's way of pestering you.  It's like the faster your drive, the more wind resistance you'll have and with that kind of momentum and force (or opposing forces), even the bugs splattering onto your windshield will leave a bigger mark the faster you go.  And as I use a physics analogy, I can't help but think of Jason Ma.  Somehow I always put physics and Jason in the same picture...thanks for your care and concern on Facebook, but rest assured...things are rocking the boat, but I know Jesus will calm the storm.

As with every school semester, I always start off well and when projects, assignments, speeches, essays, midterms and all that other academic nonsense accumulate towards the middle of the semester, I find myself dysfunctional and overwhelmed, to the point where I'm having difficulty staying on top of everything.  Assignments late, midterms missed or even classes unattended.  It's like there's some weird act of contagion permeating throughout my personal agenda preventing me from getting work done in a more consistent and productive manner.  Alas, I'm recovering from the aftermath of my academic meltdown and it's time to rebuild and make up for loss ground.

Anyway, these past months included SoCal wildfires, brief weekend down in SD/La Jolla (this is a story in itself, probably more enjoyable told in person), Ministry Fair planning, English Ministry booth design, video editting, powerpoint presentations, 40 Days of Purpose campaign at church, daily fellowships at Eamonn's for our 40 Days study, meetings, banquets, dinners, etc etc.  It's been busy.  But I just wanted to praise God for the excellent turn out for our Ministry Fair event this past Sunday.  A group of seven (Elder Isabel, Winnie, Ellen, Angela, Nat, Theo and myself) began planning this major event since the end of August so that all our congregations would know what kinds of ministries we have and in what areas they can serve.  We've had setbacks, delays, communications break downs, budgets, time limits, and technical difficulties, but through it all, looking back, everything somehow still fell into place.  I want to thank all the staff who participated in the event in manning booths, helping in the kitchen, working the function and just creating this unique level of excitement I have never seen before at our church.  I'm excited for the many new things to come.  Praise the Lord!

But the highlight of these past two months have been this past weekend.  First, the unfathomable success of the Fair was truly a delight and all praise to God for that.  Secondly, Boomers.  As this post title states, it was a day wih 9 guys, 2 girls, Go-Karts and free hugs.  I've never driven Go-Karts in my life, but after Stan's vivid descriptions of his Go-Kart circuit triumphs and his excitement at the very mention of "Boomers", an urge compelled me to go and check it out.  5 hours later, inhaling gasoline exhaust fumes, eating tire bits and gravel, getting whiplashed and nauseated from the hits and spins, I was a convert.  Go-Karting is just simply way too fun.  All 11 of us (The Super Stan brothers Stan and Will, Alvin, Winnie, Claudia, Kevin Liu, KKWW, Eamonn, Theo, Jason Huang, and myself), had a great time bashing into each other and spinning each other out all over the circuit.  Winnie is a psychopath driver on the circuit. I can't believe she blindsided me, slamming me into the tirewall during one lap.  Eamonn repeat this crazy manuever later on as well, driving both cars into the tirewall in an attempt to spin my car out.  Eamonn even got cussed out by a little girl for spinning her out.  Haha.  Even when reprimanded by the staff to stop bumping, every defiant driver in our group had one goal: to spin one more person out.  I had a lot of fun hanging out with all the young people...but then again, something about adults driving tiny cars just makes you feel so young and reckless again.  I now want a Go-Kart circuit on my property when I grow up.  That would be right next to my gym and the 3-mile race track for real cars (like this one for Ascari in southern Spain).  Now that would be real nice.

I was wearing my "Free Hugs" t-shirt on Boomers day and it helped to draw much attention.  Of note, when I was filling up at Shell on our way to Boomers, a cute girl walked up to me and asked for a free hug.  Of course, with the disclaimer of wearing the shirt, I gave her one without hesitation.  We thanked each other and each on our way.  If only we could get more free hugs...I'm sure everyone can use a hug.  And for the Chinese people like me, it's free.

Until our next embrace,
~*~*~
While walking to class, a girl was smiling at me and gestering at me with her hand as if urging me to "hurry up".  As I walked closer, her smile bigger, I soon realized that she was smiling at the guy walking behind me.

See You At the Pole & Gathering of the Unashamed

Melody of life of the moment: Hoi Dea- God Is Good

I am truly humbled when I walk into the presence of God.  It's the kind of feeling you get that brings you down to your knees because you recognize your weakness and His mercy.  It was my first time attending a See You At the Pole event on campus.  Apparently, this started 17 years ago somewhere in a Texas school with just two people who wanted to pray for their campus.  Now, it's nation and worldwide with several million people coming together on 9/26 in prayer.  That's power.  That's movement.

I drove myself down from San Francisco at 6:30am to participate in the SJSU SYATP event between MacQuarry and Sweeny hall.  Although our flagpole had no flag and a bit tucked away towards one side of campus, that didn't matter.  I arrived at 7:30 and stayed for almost 3 hours.  So, what do you do at a SYATP?  Just pray, but  boy was it a great time.  Someone brought a guitar and we sang praise songs to "break the silence" so to speak when we were in between prayers.  Imagine that, a bunch of Christians, in the middle of campus, singing, praying and praising God in the early morning!  What an awesome way to start a day.  Throughout the morning, people came and went, since they had class or some other obligation to handle.  But during that time, God really spoke to me.  I felt like I was 10-foot tall and bulletproof.  In my mind, I imagined myself looking down on the tiny flagpole and it's surrounding people.  And as the prayers continued, you can hear the power and conviction the other fellow brothers and sisters expressed.  One girl was literally screaming her prayer (or speaking really loudly), making herself heard to every passerby of who she is and why she is praying for them too.  What passion!  At one point, there were only two of us, just myself and the guitarist (whom I met again later than evening at Gathering of the Unashamed; his name is Lawrence).  We sat down and continued to pray.  And as we continued to pray, with my eyes closed, I felt the shadows move about, I heard the rustling of feet, and sure enough, our crowd started to grow and more prayer warriors appeared as if out of the woodwork.  It was an amazing morning and a truly humbling experience; something I'm not used to at Cumberland.  Definitely worth waking up at 6am, knowing that I wouldn't leave San Jose until at least 9pm that evening.  Most people would just rather sleep in, especially with an intensive class schedule to follow.  But I knew I had to be there.  I had to be at the pole and I'm sure glad I was.

I heard many, many powerful and well-spoken prayers.  I'm not the best communicator in prayer, but God knows my heart, and after all, it is He whom I am speaking to.  Many prayed for courage, for revival, for wisdom, for strength, for divine appointments, for peace, for love, for forgiveness, for grace.  He were some of my prayers that morning, or prayers I heard that morning:

Father,

We come before you today in great humility.  We lay everything down before you today at this flagpole.  All our sins, all our insecurities, all our shame, all our burdens, all our obstacles.  We cast them down here today so that we come to you with nothing, nothing just ourselves.  I ask you today to speak to us today, to join us in our prayer.  You have said that when two or more gather in prayer, You are there.  When two or more gather in worship, You are there.  And I ask you today to be with us here today and let us know how great You are.  I pray that you give us strength and courage, to raise up brothers and sisters in leadership.  I ask for revival on this campus.  If we are to be your light, we need to be sent to the darkness to brighten up the place.  A light shall not be hidden and kept under a bushel, but to be placed on a lampstand so that all may see.  So let us not hide behind our insecurities.  Let us not hide behind our fears.  Let us not hide behind our excuses.  Let us not hide behind our obstacles.  Let us stand boldly and shine our light, declaring your glory in the name of Jesus...

...I ask that you continue to watch over our soldiers on the battle fields in the Middle East.  Although we may not agree on the war and we may not agree with the government, you have also placed these people in such position as to lead our country and I believe in you, Lord.  Let us remember to prayer for our soldiers who are dying so that we may be free, so that we may have this right to congregate here, at this flag pole to pray without the fear of being shot or killed.  But as our soldiers are fighting on a battlefield, we too have a battlefield on this campus.  We too, need to fight and die for Christ.  Lord, I ask that you continue to raise up different brothers and sisters on campus to bring about a divine movement, something so great, we can not even comprehend.  We pray for strength, courage and boldness, Lord, so that we may be able to do your work.  Let us be your hands and feet... 

But as I left to return to my car to prepare for the rest of my day, I was unaware as to how the rest of my day would unfold.  After another lackluster day in volleyball (although a cute Pinay liked my cool serves.  Rarely get compliements about how I play volleyball, but I'll take this one), I found out that all my classes had been dropped, due to a delinquency in tuition payment, which I thought was already taken care of.  Anyway, in order to remedy the situation and to re-add all my classes, I now have to get every teacher to sign off on the late enrollment form, as well as the department chair.  When I found out about it, my initial reaction was likened to a fragile crystal ball dropped from 50 feet high and shattering into a million pieces.  But after about 5 seconds of disbelief and shock, I calmly responded to the person behind the counter, "So, what should I do now?"  She told me about the process and I thanked her and was on my way.  Keep in mind, I had much difficultly the first time around just trying to add the classes the beginning of the semester, and now, I am the idiot trying to add the classes once again.  Talk about an annoying student.  That would be me in such an instance.  I haven't been able to add all my classes back, but most teachers have been sympathetic.  The department chairs however, are another monster in itself.  I have to see a couple more on Monday and one chair already refused to sign off on my add, which means there is no way I can get that class back.  I asked her what should I do now about this class and should I stop going, she responded with a firm, "Yes."  Which means, my official graduation may be delayed, once again.  But throughout this minor ordeal, I am reminded how God works in my life.  He is reminding me that He can lift me up (my morning at the pole), but at the same time, He can break me down, and just shatter me to pieces.  I almost saw myself as Job, having everything taken away for a test with Satan.  This is my test, and I believe God wants to mold me into something bigger and better, and quite frankly, that is just fine by me.

Later than evening, after class, I had an option to go home early after a quick in class essay, but I felt God's calling for me to join the Gathering of the Unashamed at San Jose City Hall.  They turned the courtyard into a stage and people filled the open space.  It was a great rally in the middle of downtown San Jose.  Although I missed the worship, rapping/hip hop and break dancing, I heard it was awesome.  The speaker last night was a brother raised in west Oakland, Sean Smith, a very passionate speaker for youths.  What can I speak, I love it when a brother is speaking and beating the pulpit.  It's something in their character or attitude that makes it sound very authoritative and passionate.  He preached on II Samuel 23 and the story or Shammah in the lentil fields.  All his buddies ran when they saw the enemy coming.  But Shammah stayed and fought the entire troop of Philistines, and was victorious.  Talk about standing firm for God.  When I find time, I would want to do a bible study on that story, seems like a good study.  All in all, his challenge was that SYATP shouldn't be limited to one of 365 days.  We have to come together and recognize the power of prayer. 

What a day.  But I thank God for all of it.  I'm reminded of a line from Facing the Giants: "We'll praise God when we win, and we'll praise God when we lose.  Let all glory be given to God."  Amen.
~*~*~
No more running away.  No more running.  I'm going to stand firm, stand firm for the Lord.

Harbor Light Church
4760 Thornton Ave.
Fremont, CA 94536

August 24-25 @ 6:30pm

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Until foreverandeverandeverandever,
~*~*~